To Ask and To Receive
Sometimes, as a Catholic, I seek advice in simply living a Christian life at Columbia University. The Core’s offering of historical secular texts has often challenged the theology in which I have placed my faith, leaving with difficult, existential questions. Student activities at Columbia have sometimes placed me into difficult and awkward situations where I must choose whether to endorse positions or allow actions which seem contradictory to my faith. The choice then seems whether I must confront a perceived evil precipitously or withdraw in capitulation. What this perceived duality masks, however, is a reluctance to ask for advice. When given advice on living my faith, I may not want to follow it either out of fear or disagreement. If I do ask for advice, I ask someone I deeply trust or someone trusted enough on a particular issue. This type of trust is rare and occasional. Soliciting advice from such a person eliminates my two causes of reluctance: potential fear and disagreement. Someone I trust is someone I expect will not express anger or resentment if I do not follow their advice. I assume they would instead question why I chose differently and argue in good faith as to why I may be wrong. If I disagree with their advice as it is given, I likewise trust that I may candidly express my opinion and argue in good faith as to why I may be right.
As I reflect on this reluctance, I recognize that it may stem from a deeper recognition of my own conscience. Even though someone may give me advice on how to live my faith, I trust that they recognize and pray that I may independently make a good decision which may not reflect their expectation. Doing so seems to respect my conscience as I distinguish between good and evil in their many forms within my daily life. As every one of us possesses a conscience, we all should recognize that we have little control over how another chooses to act, moreover if they choose to follow our advice. Recognizing this places a deeper meaning on not only the nature of advice but also on those I choose to receive it from.
These standards seem high, but what do they mean inversely? What do they mean for those who ask me for advice and expect the same degree of trust? Advice I have given in the past has ranged from low to high stakes, from the serious to the suggestive. As I increasingly give more advice than I receive as I get older, I must hold myself to higher standards. Concerning my faith, perhaps I should recognize that religious advice I may give others are not commands or affirmations someone must choose to accept or deny. I should not focus on what they did wrong and pat myself on the back for not choosing the same. Rather, I should be asking myself what options and influences did their conscience consider in making their choice. More importantly, how can I help them better develop their conscience? The bottom line lies in recognizing that I can never change their past decisions nor make their future ones for them, for these are choices they control. What I should focus on instead are the actions I can do and the choices I can make to help them develop a better formation. Thus, when confronted with someone who appears to not be making the right choices, the error often lies in my lack of action towards them. A lack of action which is often not instantaneous, not a confrontation which will end an evil instantaneously. The solution lies not in a quick fix or in the instant gratification of the attempted good. The solution, as I often recognize in my personal struggles to be a better Christian, lies in my own longer journey shared, most importantly, with others.
Gustavo Alcantar is a junior in Columbia College majoring in Economics with a concentration in History. As someone who loves to cook, he is always ready to share and make his family recipes or help others prepare theirs. You can usually find him waiting in line Sunday mornings for an Absolute Bagel and coffee, or most weekday afternoons in Avery Library. Gustavo is an active member of Columbia Catholic Ministry, Model UN, and the Columbia Undergraduate Law Review.